Oh. That's adorable.
There are people who treat butter as an ingredient.
Then there are people who look at a sizzling skillet, unwrap an entire stick without measuring, and whisper, "We'll figure it out."
This shirt is for the second group.
The words BUTTER SLUT are printed in cheerful blue across a bright yellow tee, because subtlety died somewhere between your third garlic bread and your fifth "accidentally" over-buttered mashed potato.
You're the kind of person who doesn't trust recipes that tell you to use one tablespoon. That's not a measurement. That's a suggestion written by cowards.
You'll wear this shirt to the farmers market and somehow leave with three artisan loaves you didn't plan on buying. You'll wear it to brunch and the server will point at your chest before asking if you'd like extra butter with your pancakes.
The answer was always yes.
People won't ask if you're joking.
They'll ask how much butter is too much.
You'll smile.
Neither of you will enjoy the answer.
Because you're not wearing this shirt to be ironic.
You're wearing it because somewhere, deep in the primitive part of your brain, you understand a universal truth:
Butter doesn't make food unhealthy.
It makes it worth living.
And judging by the fact that this shirt found you...
Your cardiologist already knows your first name.
Oh. That's adorable.
There are people who treat butter as an ingredient.
Then there are people who look at a sizzling skillet, unwrap an entire stick without measuring, and whisper, "We'll figure it out."
This shirt is for the second group.
The words BUTTER SLUT are printed in cheerful blue across a bright yellow tee, because subtlety died somewhere between your third garlic bread and your fifth "accidentally" over-buttered mashed potato.
You're the kind of person who doesn't trust recipes that tell you to use one tablespoon. That's not a measurement. That's a suggestion written by cowards.
You'll wear this shirt to the farmers market and somehow leave with three artisan loaves you didn't plan on buying. You'll wear it to brunch and the server will point at your chest before asking if you'd like extra butter with your pancakes.
The answer was always yes.
People won't ask if you're joking.
They'll ask how much butter is too much.
You'll smile.
Neither of you will enjoy the answer.
Because you're not wearing this shirt to be ironic.
You're wearing it because somewhere, deep in the primitive part of your brain, you understand a universal truth:
Butter doesn't make food unhealthy.
It makes it worth living.
And judging by the fact that this shirt found you...
Your cardiologist already knows your first name.