You had somewhere to be. A perfectly reasonable destination. Perhaps even a schedule.
Then you saw a weird little bookstore.
Or a dog.
Or a sign advertising tacos.
Or a yard sale containing one object that looked vaguely haunted.
And suddenly the main quest was irrelevant.
This shirt is for the person who has never once taken the direct route through life.
You don't *run errands.*
You acquire additional objectives.
You leave the house to buy toothpaste and return four hours later with a candle, a new houseplant, a coffee you didn't need, and an extremely compelling story about the antique mall you "just happened to pass."
You are incapable of saying, "No, I don't have time."
Because what if the thing you don't have time for is **interesting?**
Your friends have stopped asking when you'll arrive.
They ask what side quest you're on.
And honestly, they're right to do so.
You'll wear this shirt because it perfectly captures your greatest character flaw: an almost pathological inability to ignore something fun.
You are easily distracted.
You are curious.
You are chronically underestimating how long things will take.
And somehow, against all odds, you're having a fantastic time.
The responsible people will call you unfocused.
The planners will call you inefficient.
The people who have spent forty-five minutes watching a raccoon attempt to climb into a garbage can while their dinner gets cold?
They'll understand.
Because the main quest will still be there tomorrow.
That weird little side quest won't.
And you, magnificent slut for unnecessary adventures, have priorities.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
**"SIDE QUEST SLUT."**
Ah.
So you're the reason nothing ever gets done.
You had somewhere to be. A perfectly reasonable destination. Perhaps even a schedule.
Then you saw a weird little bookstore.
Or a dog.
Or a sign advertising tacos.
Or a yard sale containing one object that looked vaguely haunted.
And suddenly the main quest was irrelevant.
This shirt is for the person who has never once taken the direct route through life.
You don't *run errands.*
You acquire additional objectives.
You leave the house to buy toothpaste and return four hours later with a candle, a new houseplant, a coffee you didn't need, and an extremely compelling story about the antique mall you "just happened to pass."
You are incapable of saying, "No, I don't have time."
Because what if the thing you don't have time for is **interesting?**
Your friends have stopped asking when you'll arrive.
They ask what side quest you're on.
And honestly, they're right to do so.
You'll wear this shirt because it perfectly captures your greatest character flaw: an almost pathological inability to ignore something fun.
You are easily distracted.
You are curious.
You are chronically underestimating how long things will take.
And somehow, against all odds, you're having a fantastic time.
The responsible people will call you unfocused.
The planners will call you inefficient.
The people who have spent forty-five minutes watching a raccoon attempt to climb into a garbage can while their dinner gets cold?
They'll understand.
Because the main quest will still be there tomorrow.
That weird little side quest won't.
And you, magnificent slut for unnecessary adventures, have priorities.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
