Well, well, well.
You saw a hat that publicly announces you'd throw away your dignity for a deep-fried tube of cheese... and instead of feeling shame, you reached for your wallet.
Remarkable.
This hat is for the person who has uttered the phrase, "Can we get another order for the table?" knowing full damn well the table already got their fair share. You're the reason restaurants run out of marinara. You don't share mozzarella sticks. You redistribute them... into your own mouth.
You'll swear you're "just having one," then somehow become the lead investigator in the mysterious disappearance of twelve perfectly innocent cheese sticks. Scientists remain baffled.
Wear this masterpiece to bars, breweries, state fairs, game nights, first dates, or literally anywhere fried food exists. Fellow cheese goblins will recognize one of their own from across the room. Normal people will keep a respectful distance from the appetizer basket.
Is it classy?
No.
Is it accurate?
Painfully.
Congratulations. You've spent money to publicly declare that your standards are low, your cholesterol is negotiable, and if someone offers you mozzarella sticks, they already have a better chance than they probably deserve.
Honestly...
We've seen people make worse life choices. This one comes with embroidery.
Well, well, well.
You saw a hat that publicly announces you'd throw away your dignity for a deep-fried tube of cheese... and instead of feeling shame, you reached for your wallet.
Remarkable.
This hat is for the person who has uttered the phrase, "Can we get another order for the table?" knowing full damn well the table already got their fair share. You're the reason restaurants run out of marinara. You don't share mozzarella sticks. You redistribute them... into your own mouth.
You'll swear you're "just having one," then somehow become the lead investigator in the mysterious disappearance of twelve perfectly innocent cheese sticks. Scientists remain baffled.
Wear this masterpiece to bars, breweries, state fairs, game nights, first dates, or literally anywhere fried food exists. Fellow cheese goblins will recognize one of their own from across the room. Normal people will keep a respectful distance from the appetizer basket.
Is it classy?
No.
Is it accurate?
Painfully.
Congratulations. You've spent money to publicly declare that your standards are low, your cholesterol is negotiable, and if someone offers you mozzarella sticks, they already have a better chance than they probably deserve.
Honestly...
We've seen people make worse life choices. This one comes with embroidery.