Some pulp.
Not no pulp.
Not lots of pulp.
Some.
You magnificent, indecisive little primate.
This hat is for the kind of person who has spent more time than they'd ever admit discussing orange juice consistency. Someone who looked at a breakfast menu and thought, "I'd like evidence that this came from an orange... but let's not get carried away."
You believe in moderation.
Except when it comes to having opinions about completely inconsequential things.
You'll defend Some Pulp with the confidence of a constitutional lawyer. You have no interest in converting the extremists. The "No Pulp" crowd are texture cowards. The "Extra Pulp" crowd are one bad decision away from chewing their beverages.
You? You occupy the only rational position.
Or so you'll happily explain to a complete stranger who made the mistake of asking about your hat.
The embroidery is clean and understated, because the statement itself does all the work. Those who understand will laugh immediately.
Those who don't...
Well, they'll spend the rest of the day wondering if it's a reference to orange juice, a television show, an inside joke, or some obscure philosophy they've somehow missed.
Good.
Confused people are quieter.
You'll wear this hat to the grocery store and instinctively judge anyone reaching for the wrong carton.
You won't say anything.
You'll just know.
Because this isn't about orange juice.
It's about drawing a line in the sand over something so gloriously insignificant that only a truly evolved human would care.
And judging by the fact you're considering wearing Some Pulp on your head...
You've accepted the most important truth of all:
The best hills to die on are the ones that make absolutely no sense to everyone else.
Some pulp.
Not no pulp.
Not lots of pulp.
Some.
You magnificent, indecisive little primate.
This hat is for the kind of person who has spent more time than they'd ever admit discussing orange juice consistency. Someone who looked at a breakfast menu and thought, "I'd like evidence that this came from an orange... but let's not get carried away."
You believe in moderation.
Except when it comes to having opinions about completely inconsequential things.
You'll defend Some Pulp with the confidence of a constitutional lawyer. You have no interest in converting the extremists. The "No Pulp" crowd are texture cowards. The "Extra Pulp" crowd are one bad decision away from chewing their beverages.
You? You occupy the only rational position.
Or so you'll happily explain to a complete stranger who made the mistake of asking about your hat.
The embroidery is clean and understated, because the statement itself does all the work. Those who understand will laugh immediately.
Those who don't...
Well, they'll spend the rest of the day wondering if it's a reference to orange juice, a television show, an inside joke, or some obscure philosophy they've somehow missed.
Good.
Confused people are quieter.
You'll wear this hat to the grocery store and instinctively judge anyone reaching for the wrong carton.
You won't say anything.
You'll just know.
Because this isn't about orange juice.
It's about drawing a line in the sand over something so gloriously insignificant that only a truly evolved human would care.
And judging by the fact you're considering wearing Some Pulp on your head...
You've accepted the most important truth of all:
The best hills to die on are the ones that make absolutely no sense to everyone else.